I'm on life support mentally and emonitally

Where to start cause i really don't know where.....

Well till last month I lived with my parents and g'ma. I was miserable and my dad was eating me inside and out. So I moved out and in with my boyfriend. Well I am running into the same porblem with Chad. He is just like my father.

He wont talk to me, wont comfort me, wont help me, and is a total iceburg. the only emontion that come off Chad is if his feelings have been hurt. I feel like I am drowning in my own skin... not to mention I am still trying to recover from being up 36 hours with him at the ER.

Between taking care of him, my little dogs, myself, cooking, cleaning, finances, 3 websites that need massive redo's, and 6 cross stitches. 3 of which are Gold Collection Peitites from Dimensions.

I am ready to go run out into the woods for a few weeks and hide. I am burned out and my energy is on life support.

Sad thing is things will never improve. You can't change people unless they want to change. Chad is happy being an emontionless idoit.

I am slipping into a depression and no amount of shopping, sugar, or time away would change this fact.

Oh did i mention I am hardly sleeping at night. I am doing all my sleeping durring the day. That's not good for my disorder. I have sites to work on durring the day, but I am sleeping. and it's all because of that ER visit.

For the last year chad has been coughing so hard he throws up. So i have been lisitng to it for months over the phone and for the last month here at home. so I took him to the er. It was 3 am. I had already been up since 11 am the day before. Come to find out the idoit had Acid Reflux. He has had insurance since last nov and never went to a dr.

I finally got to sleep after my parents came to visit at around 2.30 pm on friday.

I am about ready to leave chad and go back to the hell that is my parents home.....

Randi

Randi...my heart goes out to you...I think you need to leave and not go back to your parents if it is that bad for you...You don't need to go from one bad situation to another...I know I have been there and no matter how much you want Chad or your parents to change you can't change them,only they can do that and they have to want to change...

Depression is a serious illness and you may want to talk to someone...I have suffered with Depression most of my life and there are places you can go to and people you can talk to who will be able to help you...It will do you a world of good just to be able to talk about everything...Talk to your family doctor,that might be something you would want to do...But don't give up...Never give up...As bad as things seem right now...tomorrow,or next week or next month things will be better...But I urge you to talk to someone...

If you ever just want to talk...I am here...

Hugs to you

Smiles & hugs...

I am very deeply distrubed mentally and emontially. I suffer from Bipolar and Adhd along with two other things that might scare yall. I am on 4 diffrent meds for these conditions. 2 mood stablizars, one anit psychotic, and one anti depressant. Since I have moved I have had to get VA medicade. Stupid social services anit got me my card yet. So I am gonna have to kick them in the teeth. I need a therpist and fast. cause my life line is going on vacation the 16 of august. My g'ma is going to see her son and daughter and i refuse to call when she does. They did it to me and I refuse to be jerks like them and intrude on their time with their mom.

right now i am not sure which is worse. Dealing with dad or chad. I am trying to focus on my crafts right now and my websites. they are my outlet and talking to granny. I really need mom though. she usally has a way of eating thru my depression and making me feel better if only for a few mins.

I go thru this every now and then. It's the facts of being Bipolar 2. My one god send is I am a fighter and never give up.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE. I AM FAMILIAR WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER. YOU ARE EITHER WAY UP OR WAY DOWN. DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN REALLY TALK TO? FIRST OF ALL DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE WEBSITES ETC. THEY WILL BE OK AND YOU CAN WORK ON THEM WHEN YOU GET SOME REST AND GET YOURSELF IN SHAPE. HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING YOUR MEDS? YOU NEED TO MOVE OUT AND GET A PLACE OF YOUR OWN OR GO STAY WITH A FRIEND, RELATIVE ETC. ONE DAY AT A TIME, ONE STEP AT A TIME. DO IT TODAY..I KNOW YOU CAN..YOU SOUND LIKE ONE TOUGH GAL..IF THINGS GET TOO OVERWHELMING CHECK YOURSELF INTO THE HOSPITAL FOR TREATMENT AND REST. A VISIT TO YOUR DR. MIGHT HELP TOO. HE CAN TELL WHAT THE LEVEL OF YOUR MEDS ARE IN YOUR BLOOD TESTS. YOU MAY NEED AN ADJUSTMENT. LET US KNOW HOW YOU ARE.

You need a place of your own or move in with a friend who knows you very well. Things are not going to improve for you as long as you are with Chad. Moving back home is not the best either.
It would be a good idea to talk to your doctor and ask about being put in the hospital where they can monitor your meds to make sure you are getting the right dose. And while there you can talk it all out with someone. You could also check yourself in. You need to do this now, today. Take one day at a time.
Are you on disability? If not, apply for it.
Stay in touch with us.

I'm sorry you're going through this! I'll keep you in my prayers.

I am taking my meds. I really don't like who I am when I don't take them. My lithium level has not been theraputic for a year. My doc said since I was on so much other, it didn't need to be up as high.

Unforntuitly I can't move out. I have no where to go and no friends. I just called Social Services and they just approved my case today. Why that people waited a month is beyond me. So I will have a therpist in max 3 weeks.

I need a vacation or to go out into the woods to hide for a while. Yes I am on disability. Have been since last feb.

Hang in there,,we all go through some mighty rough times,,been there ,,so just keep in mind you have a great bunch here praying for you.
You are in my thoughts & prayers.

Randi, Are you able to live in your own place with the amount of disability you are getting? If so, look for a small place and move.
Does your city have a home where a number of people with the same problems live in their own apartments? Can your social worker do something to help you find a place to live? You need to take care of just yourself and no one else.