Pet Diaries

I hope this hasn't been posted before,but if it has.. it's still funny!











*** FROM A DOG’S DIARY ***



Day number 180



8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!



Day number 181



8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE !

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!



Day number 182



8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE !

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!

1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!







*** FROM A CAT’S DIARY ***



DAY 752



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.



DAY 761



Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair … must try this on their bed.



DAY 765



Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was … Hmmm. Not working according to plan.



DAY 768



I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.



DAY 771



There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call “beer …” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.



DAY 774



I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time …

[img]images/smiley_icons/laughpoint.gif[/img] [img]images/smiley_icons/laughpoint.gif[/img]

Thanks for the laugh!!

It's like a look into my household at times!!

Yes the cats are always scheeming for my budgie,and they get sprayed with the water bottle- to remind them to stay down from there.

The dog part of diary,sounds like my Siberian,Bandit,,he is such a goof,and half wit at times, but a lover anyways.

Im finally getting the nack of this message board/posting to someone else's post anyways, hope to thanks you all for your welcomes.Dawn

<font size="2">Been a while since I read this KW, but worth a second or even more look at. I agree completely with the cats. No dogs now since our little Pom died as we are a bit long in the tooth to do a lot of dog walking. We do have the three cats and they keep us busy enough.



As well as all the wild critters. [img]images/smiley_icons/hysterical.gif[/img] [img]images/smiley_icons/hysterical.gif[/img] [img]images/smiley_icons/hysterical.gif[/img] We are getting a bit of a rest with them as they are hibernating. [img]images/smiley_icons/roflmbo.gif[/img]



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